Privacy Policy

Last Updated: January 2025

📋 TL;DR: We don't collect, store, or transmit any of your data. This form literally goes nowhere. But you're here now, so you might as well read how seriously we take your privacy!

1. Introduction

Welcome to the Knoxville Car Enthusiasts Member Feedback Portal Privacy Policy. We are committed to protecting your privacy and handling your data in a transparent manner. This policy explains what happens to the information you provide through our feedback form.

2. Information We Collect

When you fill out our comprehensive 12-step feedback form, you may provide us with the following types of information:

Personal contact information (name, email, Facebook username)
Detailed descriptions of your grievances and emotional state
Information about your sleep patterns affected by your ban
Comparisons of your situation to apocalyptic scenarios
Self-reflective admissions about whether you actually read the rules
Acknowledgments about how much time you've wasted on this form

3. How We Use Your Information

Here's the really exciting part. All the information you painstakingly enter into our form is used in the following ways:

Primary Uses:

Absolutely Nothing - Your data is not collected, stored, or transmitted anywhere
Therapeutic Value - The act of typing it out might make you feel better
Time Consumption - It keeps you occupied for 10-15 minutes
Personal Reflection - Maybe you'll realize something about yourself

4. Data Storage and Security

We employ state-of-the-art security measures to protect your data:

Encryption: We don't encrypt your data because we don't have your data
Secure Servers: We don't use servers because there's nowhere to send the data
Backups: We don't need backups because nothing is stored
Retention Period: Zero seconds - your data exists only in your browser's memory until you submit

⚠️ Important Security Note: When you click "Submit Feedback," your data undergoes a rigorous 15-step processing procedure that includes "Encrypting sensitive information" and "Creating detailed audit trail." Then it's immediately deleted from memory. It's the most secure data handling possible - we literally can't lose or leak what we never had!

5. Third-Party Sharing

We value your privacy and will never share your personal information with third parties, including:

Advertisers
Marketing companies
Data brokers
Anyone, really
Because we don't have it

6. Cookies and Tracking

This website does not use cookies, tracking pixels, analytics, or any other monitoring technology. We have no idea who you are, where you're from, or how long you spent typing your complaint. Your frustration is completely anonymous to us.

7. Your Rights

Under various data protection regulations (GDPR, CCPA, etc.), you have certain rights regarding your personal data:

Right to Access: You can access your data at any time (it doesn't exist)
Right to Deletion: Your data is automatically deleted upon submission
Right to Correction: Feel free to go back and correct anything before submitting to the void
Right to Portability: You can port your data anywhere you'd like (we recommend /dev/null)
Right to Object: You already objected - that's why you're here!

8. Children's Privacy

This service is not intended for children under 13. If you're under 13 and got banned from our Facebook group, we have questions about your parents' supervision. Also, how did you get a car?

9. What Actually Happens

Let's be real for a second:

This is a troll website. You're here because you broke the rules of a Facebook group with over 50,000 members, got banned or had your post deleted, threw a fit about it, and an admin sent you here to give you something to do with your anger.

This form is entirely client-side JavaScript. When you click submit:

Your browser shows you a fancy loading animation
Confetti falls on your screen
You get a fake case number
Your data is discarded from browser memory
Nothing is sent to any server
No admin will ever see it
No response will ever come

But here's the thing: Maybe typing it all out made you feel a little better? Maybe you realized the rules exist for a reason? Maybe you'll think twice before posting marketplace items in a discussion-only thread?

Or maybe you're just reading this privacy policy because you're skeptical (good for you!) and now you know this whole thing is a joke.

10. Updates to This Policy

We may update this privacy policy from time to time. Major changes include:

January 2025: Created this policy to explain that we don't collect data
Future: Will continue not collecting data

11. Contact Us

If you have any questions about this privacy policy, you can:

Read the Group Rules that you should have read in the first place
Return to the KCE Facebook Group (if you're not banned)
Accept that maybe, just maybe, the admins were right

🚗 Fun Facts About KCE:

Founded: June 28, 2011
Members: 50,000+
Years of operation: 13+ years
Number of people who think rules don't apply to them: Too many
Number of fake complaints this form has "processed": Hopefully hundreds
Percentage of those people who actually read this privacy policy: You're in the 1%

12. Legal Disclaimer

This website is a parody/satire project created for entertainment purposes. No actual data collection, storage, or processing occurs. No real feedback system exists. If you submit the form, your data goes nowhere because there is nowhere for it to go.

This is not a real business. We are not violating any privacy laws because we are not collecting any data. This is just a creative way to deal with people who can't follow simple Facebook group rules.

If you're still mad about getting banned: The rules are there for a reason. Over 50,000 members means we need structure. The admins volunteer their time to keep the community clean and enjoyable. Maybe instead of being mad, just follow the rules next time?

P.S. If you actually read this entire privacy policy, congratulations! You just spent more time reading about how we don't collect your data than you would have spent reading the actual group rules that would have prevented you from getting banned in the first place.

Let that sink in. 🚗